"Je Sentis Avant de Penser "
"I feel before I think," wrote Jean-Jacques Rousseau in his Confessions,
as if the words were painfully scribed for me, his confidant and great soul mate, across the span of time. Hanging on each and every descriptions of Rousseau's inner world like a kite riding on a summer wind, I drank thirstily the wine of Truth. With such simplicity he had spoken, revealing in all honesty the many dark corners of his soul, thinking aloud the passages of his reflections.
"You had spoken what I dared not to admit," I conversed privately with him, as if he was sitting with me, patiently awaiting my participation, receptive of my objection, discreetly happy at my acceptance of his Truth.
"Mr. Rousseau, you don't know how relieved I am to hear your acknowledgment of this, this innate quality of human feeling which precedes reason, which is natural, which is good to preserve." I almost reached out to hug him, so strong was his presence near me through his words.
Many times, I have relied on my intuitions to arrive at many important decisions, or to draw certain conclusions regarding so and so, or to react certain way to such and such events. I could never explain the reasons behind these intuitions, which were simply irrational and arbitrary, yet seldom aberrant. I had no explanations to defend my position, although I strongly believe in it, until reading Rousseau. Of course, "I feel before I think", that was the vibes behind my voice of reason, the chords that vibrate my thought. I had only listened to my primordial self, the core of my being, the God of my soul.
If "I think, therefore I am," then Mr. Rousseau, I dare to utter after your suggestion: "I feel, therefore I think. Will you, Mr. Rousseau, accompany me to my husband, the next time he argues with my "unfounded behaviors", and teach him how to feel, to get back to the time when he was a little soul following the fleeting sun rays with interest, feeling a deep happiness yet not knowing what that ray of warmth was, where it came from, why it had come to him?"